First of all, welcome! Please know that I am not a Biblical scholar, nor am I in any way trained or ordained on these things. I am simply a humble young man who reads and prays on these truths because they are my only hope, just as I'm sure you do for you and yours, and I have set this up to help others struggling as I struggle the best I can. This site is Christ-centered and Bible-focused, and so opposes all sexual activity between adults and children (whether "consensual" or not) as contrary to God's purpose and immoral, and is also opposed to all child pornography or any images that defile children. This site finds all child molestation, abuse, maltreatment, neglect, abortion, and endangerment to be abhorrent. It is also opposed to masturbation as contrary to God's purpose for human sexuality, gravely disordered, and immoral. At the same time, this site is also opposed to violent anti-pedophile vigilantism that does more harm than good for children and society. This site is Catholic in its orientation and beliefs, but Protestant brothers (and sisters) are more than welcome! We are for life-giving love and God-given virtue as children of God called to be saints.
So whether you be "pedophile" or not, "gay" or "straight," whether you are a "boylover," "girllover," "childlover," "little-boy-or-girllover," "teenlover,' or anything and everything in between, all are welcome! Put all those divisions aside if you are a God-lover first! But by now there are probably many of you who disagree with some of these stances this site takes on these issues, and that is okay, because I do not claim to have all the answers, nor am I a "saint" yet, for I struggle with and fall into sin on a daily basis just like anyone. All I can say is, the Lord does have all the answers, so look to Him first. We say "no" to these earthly, fleshly, lustful things so that we can say "yes" to the greater good, which is found in Christ Jesus. These are just my humble, good faith "attempts" to reach out and hopefully inspire others to do the same in a pedophile community so rife with heartache and confusion. I simply want to offer the powerful message of healing and hope that God has in store for you, as God is willing to give it to you.
I make these posts all in good faith to be as true as my limited understanding is of the meaning and intention behind scripture, but I do not for a second claim perfect knowledge, and I implore readers to take what I say with a grain of salt, and to go consult scripture and the writings of the church fathers for yourselves, or talk to your local pastor first and foremost to gain further insight or correction and guidance. And as always, pray on what I say on this site, and seek the truth. I am completely open at all times for any and all correction, so feel free to comment and critique. Grace and peace be with you. I hope you will comment and share your story. We could all learn a lot from you!
Pray for me. I will pray for you. Peace.
What is Childlove?
Childlove is simply the love of children. Love can have many definitions though, and each childlover defines it differently, but Christians uphold a very definite view of love. While many childlovers define the "love" part of Childlove in an "epicurean" or "hedonist" way (that is, specifically pertaining to what they view to be "mutually appreciated pleasure" by "consent"), Christians have a different definition--one that does not always conflict with prevailing definitions used by the majority in the Childlove communities, but at other times does. Most Childlovers self-identify as "virtuous pedophiles," or as pedophiles who have no desire or temptation to harm children in any way, directly or indirectly. Whether pedophilia can be understood either as a clinical disorder or a genuine sexual orientation (and such can be argued either way), how one expresses it IS always a matter of choice, just like any other physical attraction. The choice Christian Childlovers have to make is how they will express it, and a lot of that has to do with how they can reconcile their flesh with their faith.
Childlove is simply the love of children. Love can have many definitions though, and each childlover defines it differently, but Christians uphold a very definite view of love. While many childlovers define the "love" part of Childlove in an "epicurean" or "hedonist" way (that is, specifically pertaining to what they view to be "mutually appreciated pleasure" by "consent"), Christians have a different definition--one that does not always conflict with prevailing definitions used by the majority in the Childlove communities, but at other times does. Most Childlovers self-identify as "virtuous pedophiles," or as pedophiles who have no desire or temptation to harm children in any way, directly or indirectly. Whether pedophilia can be understood either as a clinical disorder or a genuine sexual orientation (and such can be argued either way), how one expresses it IS always a matter of choice, just like any other physical attraction. The choice Christian Childlovers have to make is how they will express it, and a lot of that has to do with how they can reconcile their flesh with their faith.
How can Childlove and Christianity be reconciled?
Two primary ways:
Childlove and Christianity both have the same goals: (1) the protection and love of children; and (2): the redemption of the sinner (pedophile) from a life of sin (child exploitation, molestation, pornography addiction, and other sexual deviance) and salvation from damnation that is the inevitable outcome of sin (imprisonment, both on earth and after death).
Childlove and Christianity both believe Childlove can be a blessing in disguise because it can (1) be a catalyst for which the Holy Spirit can cause a "spiritual stirring" by divine grace in a sinner towards their redemption (in Christ); (2) it can promote healing and charity in the world for the sake of its children and all of its people; and (3) it can ultimately lead the childlover to be fulfilled, at peace, and the best version of themselves (as God intends).
On the mutual goals and views of Childlove and Christianity:
Childlove and Christianity both have the same goals: (1) the protection and love of children; and (2): the redemption of the sinner (pedophile) from a life of sin (child exploitation, molestation, pornography addiction, and other sexual deviance) and salvation from damnation that is the inevitable outcome of sin (imprisonment, both on earth and after death).
Childlove and Christianity both believe Childlove can be a blessing in disguise because it can (1) be a catalyst for which the Holy Spirit can cause a "spiritual stirring" by divine grace in a sinner towards their redemption (in Christ); (2) it can promote healing and charity in the world for the sake of its children and all of its people; and (3) it can ultimately lead the childlover to be fulfilled, at peace, and the best version of themselves (as God intends).
On the mutual goals and views of Childlove and Christianity:
1. On protecting and nurturing children:
"If anyone causes one of these little ones--those who believe in me--to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea" (Mark 9:42).
Both Christianity and Childlove seek to protect children from all who would cause them to "stumble" (which is also translated as "to sin"). These words were specifically relating to anyone who causes Christ-believing children to fall away from what is "written in their hearts" (the basic "desire for God" which is written into the heart of all people by God (Catechism 27)) which the works of sin break apart, but one should also get the sense from this passage just how seriously Christ would view anyone who harmed children out of selfish desire.
We can know this because Christ also says about children: "See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven" (Matthew 18:10).
Therefore, Christians should view all children as special to God and see their very natures as a reflection of God, as Christ commanded us to be in relation to God and man like children are in relation to God and man: "Truly I tell you, unless you turn and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3). If children are this important to God in His divine plan, then just imagine how much one damns himself by causing great physical and spiritual harm to that which has "angels in heaven that always see the face of the Father"! As Christ tells us, such a thing is a direct attack on God Himself. On the other hand, Christ tells us that a good deed done for those who are "least" (which includes children) is a good deed done for Him. How are we to love Christ and worship God? By doing as He commands (John 14:15). What does he command? For one, that we show love to those who are least:
'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40).
Childlovers feel much the same way about never subjecting a child to any harm, directly or indirectly, but the reason they feel that way to begin with is because God wrote that instinct into their hearts (Catechism 27). Man falls short though, and can reject what God has written into his heart (Catechism 29), which is what causes man to sin, and what causes man to abuse and exploit children, but because God is all-merciful, He calls all sinners to repentance no matter what they think or do against Him, and because He is all-powerful, He can save all who come to Him confessing their sins, and asking for forgiveness. His will is perfect, so He can't save that which is rebelliously unrepentant-- those who reject the very Author of Sanctification (the Holy Spirit): "Truly I tell you, people can be forgiven all their sins and every slander they utter, but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; they are guilty of an eternal sin" (Mark 3:28-29).
2. On the redemption of the sinner:
"I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance" (Luke 5:32).
Both Christianity and Childlove seek to edify the Childlover (who is no more or less a "sinner" than anyone else: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23), and therefore reduce his despair and desperation that may throw him into sin with children or cause him to be less in life than he is called to be. Remember, God "calls" all people, even though sinful by nature, to be more than just "good people" but to be "saints" (Romans 1:7; 1st Corinthians 1:2). This includes pedophiles. God has so much more He wants from you than to just have you be a lowly sinner wallowing in fruitless rebellion. In fact, He calls you not only to the heights of human dignity, but to the highest calling there is, to be a saint, no matter who you are or what you have done. All you have to do is accept His salvation by your own free will (a will He gave you that you may freely chose Him (Catechism 1730), which I assume you have done if you are reading this, and if not, I pray that you do. Here is some scripture to get you started:
"But as many as received Him, to them he gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in his name" (John 1:12).
"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him, and he with Me" (Revelation 3:20).
"For whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved" (Romans 10:13).
The Almighty Creator of the universe would be honored to dine with you (a lowly creature, a sinner), but loves you too much to trouble you if you don't wish to invite Him. Wouldn't you like to dine with Him who has the power to save you? It makes no difference to Him if you are a sinful heterosexual, a sinful homosexual, or a sinful pedophile once you invite Him in in earnest, seeking His salvation. He welcomes you as a son and gives you these assurances as a believer, to be an heir to the riches in the kingdom of heaven: "Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory" (Romans 8:17). In all ways we are called to unite our sufferings (whatever they be) as sinful people with His sufferings on the cross, that by dying His death, we may attain His everlasting life:
"That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised HIm from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9).
"Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life" (John 5:24).
"But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name" (John 20:31).
3. On the fulfillment, peace, and betterment of the Childlover:
But these things come only by the grace of God, and not through your own efforts or righteousness. You choose God only because He chose you first, and first before all things: "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight" (Ephesians 1:4). In accepting His choosing of you, you are "justified by faith" (Romans 5:1) and "have passed from death to life" (John 5:24) if you put Him first just as He put you first, but His grace is not the end of the work that He will bring to completion in you ("...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6)). His grace is only the beginning of a work that He will complete in you in His time:
“May the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it” (1st Thessalonians 5:23 – 24).
So what are some ways that our ever-faithful and all-capable God "does this" for pedophiles in particular? We don't presume to know the ways God works unless He reveals them, but for this He has, not just in scripture but also through the blessed sacraments and traditions of His Church (which the scripture is a testament to). Pedophiles are no different than any other group of sinners, for all humanity is is equal in sin, so there is only one sacrifice (Christ at Calvary) that is sufficient to blot out all sin equally: ("But when this priest [Jesus] had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God...because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy" (Hebrews 10:10-14). How does He expect pedophiles to be made holy? The Catechism of the Catholic Church's official doctrine on homosexuality (and likewise all sexual identities beyond the one established for the bearing of children), while not approving of them (Catechism 2357), does go on to say:
"These persons [homosexuals/pedophiles] are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s cross the difficulties that they may encounter from their condition" (Catechism 2358).
"Homosexual [and pedophilic] persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection" (Catechism 2359).
If one is under God's grace, accepts Jesus Christ as his personal savior, and therefore has examined his conscience and has determined himself to be a pedophile who no longer takes pride and joy in his sin but only seeks to unite his suffering against sin to the cross of Christ, then God has done a great thing in that person's heart already. That is God's way of calling you, a sinner, to sainthood. He does this in many ways to many different kinds of people, and for His own reasoning and purpose. For your sake, He has called you to a higher purpose by giving you the "blessing" of overcoming a sin that by its very nature calls you to the holy disciplines of chastity, self-mastery, prayer, confession, thanksgiving, and daily self-sacrifice (of your desire). Rejoice that He has given you this blessing, this opportunity! You are still tasked with enduring the trials and temptations of the flesh, but rest assured that your consolation (if you endure this blessing of hardship to the end) is great: "...but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved" (Matthew 24:13).
It is by the consolation and assurance of your salvation in your hardship through endurance that you should be fulfilled, rejoicing constantly, and at peace with all the world and yourself. This grace, this light that is in you will only enrich you, and if you are blessed, will enrich and bless your young friend's life as well. Rejoice for God's saving grace, that you can call upon Him in times of trouble for the strength to endure.
It is by the consolation and assurance of your salvation in your hardship through endurance that you should be fulfilled, rejoicing constantly, and at peace with all the world and yourself. This grace, this light that is in you will only enrich you, and if you are blessed, will enrich and bless your young friend's life as well. Rejoice for God's saving grace, that you can call upon Him in times of trouble for the strength to endure.
What are Christian Childlovers called to "do" to endure?
Though justified by faith alone (Romans 5:1), this faith naturally produces in the one being perfected through it good works, such that this faith my remain vital and alive, and not be a "dead" faith (James 2:20). It should be our sin which is dead to us by grace (Ephesians 2:5), not our faith. If our faith is vital, then we will be moved by the Holy Spirit to perform these works because of our faith (James 2:18-20). It's foolish to believe though that by works we "earn" grace, because grace is not something earned, but something God freely gives us. The result of sin is earned like a "wage", but the grace of God is freely given by God: "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). Therefore, since works do not in and of themselves "earn" us any measure of grace or salvation (James 2:14), we are instead justified by our faith first of all that produces in us these works to keep it vital and alive in us:
1. Sacrifice one's desire for the "greater good," which is "love":
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13).
"Laying down one's life" can be as simple as laying aside one's own desires (in this case, sexual desires) for the benefit of their "young friends." Even most childlovers identifying as pedophiles use words like "mentoring" to show that they do indeed see the importance of being there primarily for the child's benefit, out of their love for the child, and in putting all other personal needs to the side, but Christians are called to put aside even more.
Christian Childlovers are not just called to be 'good people" or be "good role models" (although those things are important!), but are also called to sacrifice all their sinful desires and pin them to the cross with Christ, to sacrifice themselves as He sacrificed Himself and to "endure" as He endured, so that one gains His life by dying His death. Christ is the example for all Christians, as the Apostle Peter said: "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps" (1st Peter 2:21). And as the Apostle Paul wrote: "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1st Corinthians 11:1).
Christian Childlovers are not just called to be 'good people" or be "good role models" (although those things are important!), but are also called to sacrifice all their sinful desires and pin them to the cross with Christ, to sacrifice themselves as He sacrificed Himself and to "endure" as He endured, so that one gains His life by dying His death. Christ is the example for all Christians, as the Apostle Peter said: "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps" (1st Peter 2:21). And as the Apostle Paul wrote: "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1st Corinthians 11:1).
In fact, the Apostle Paul wrote this over and over again:
"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires" (Galatians 5:24).
"If we died with him we shall also live with him" (2nd Timothy 2:11).
"I died on the cross with Christ. And my present life is not that of the old "I", but the living Christ within me. The bodily life I now live I live believing in the Son of God who loved me and sacrificed himself for me" (Galatians 2:19-20).
"So get rid of your old self, which made you live as you used to, the old self that was being destroyed by its deceitful desires. Your hearts and minds must be made completely new. You must put on the new self, which is created in God's likeness and reveals itself in the true life that is upright and holy" (Ephesians 4:22-25).
All because Christ Himself said:
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it" (Mark 8:34-35).
To be a Christian Childlover is to sacrifice your old way of thinking, "bare your own cross" (as a pedophile), and literally put to death ("crucify") your slavery to pedophilia's sinful grip and control over your life (and freedom) and decisions, and put those decisions instead in the hands of God. Then He alone will direct you along the path of righteousness, and will show you how the "new and better you" is going to be love children going forward. This is the freedom that God has in store for you, that you may be many times more fulfilled by expressing His love toward children in the short time you have than you could ever be in a million years by expressing only your old sinful love, because His love is pure love ("The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith" (1st Timothy 1:5)).
2. Love children as "He loves children" rather than how your sin did:
A Christian's life is not his own, but after Baptism he is born again (Colossians 2:12). The old body with its desires was "crucified with Christ," and one is born as of with a new body that is Christ's, and belongs to Him, desiring only the things He desires, as the Apostle Paul wrote:
"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin, because anyone who has died has been set free from sin" (Romans 6:6-7).
"In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:11).
Christian Childlovers are therefore called to love children as God and His Christ loves children (Who is without sin: "Christ was without sin, but for our sake God made him share our sin in order that in union with him we might share the righteousness of God" (2nd Corinthians 5:21)). This is done so as to fulfill the commandment of Christ to "love as God loves," or more exactly, to: "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (John 13:34).
Christian Childlovers are therefore called by God to love children (and all people) first and foremost platonically (without regard to sinful or selfish desire). This is because God does not and can not love us sinfully or selfishly, so to continue to love children in a sexual manner is not in imitation of God but of man and idolatry: ("Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry" (Colossians 3:5). God does not have love as a "virtue" like human beings do, because "He IS love" (1st John 4:8), so He does not and can not love us sinfully or selfishly. Therefore, if we are to "love as He loves," we must detest all sin and selfishness just as He detests all our sin and selfishness, and ask Him with a contrite and sorrowful heart for forgiveness and mercy.
Christian Childlovers are therefore called by God to love children (and all people) first and foremost platonically (without regard to sinful or selfish desire). This is because God does not and can not love us sinfully or selfishly, so to continue to love children in a sexual manner is not in imitation of God but of man and idolatry: ("Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry" (Colossians 3:5). God does not have love as a "virtue" like human beings do, because "He IS love" (1st John 4:8), so He does not and can not love us sinfully or selfishly. Therefore, if we are to "love as He loves," we must detest all sin and selfishness just as He detests all our sin and selfishness, and ask Him with a contrite and sorrowful heart for forgiveness and mercy.
So how does God "love us" and how are we to love children (and all people) going forward? Review just some of the ways that God loves us, and imitate Him:
(1). He loves us without condition, even if we do not acknowledge Him ("But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8)). So we are to love children (and all people) unconditionally (without regard to one's attraction, or as a result of any of the child's (or person's) characteristics, traits, or behaviors).
(2). He loves us like a father loves his children, wanting us to be cheerfully obedient and in good spirit ("See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" (1st John 3:1)). So we are to love children (and all people) with a fatherly love (with all diligence, responsibility, nurturing, and protectiveness).
(3). He loves us charitably that He produces good works for us because He loves us and all the world ("God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" (Genesis 1:31). And: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). So we are to Love children (and all people) charitably and with faith that produces good works and forgiveness as we've had good works and forgiveness given to us by God).3. Battle with temptation, go to war with it, and through God overcome it:
Even though sin is dead to the Christian who has been justified by faith and who's faith has produced through him good works, the act of salvation itself and its aftermath is not the end of the story, but the beginning. This is where it is time to get real, acknowledge that temptation knocks, and commit ourselves by seeking God's grace and the intercession of His appointed to not answer the tempter who beckons.
To be continued.
Is Fatherly Love synonymous with Parental Love or is it notably different than Motherly Love?
ReplyDeleteI touched on this subject in the post on St. Joseph... just why we call God "Father" rather than "Parent" ... A father's love is necessarily one by adoption, and since God "adopts us," His love for us is more like a father's love. As we know, our mother bears us, so her love for us is not so much a matter of choice, but of biological necessity.
DeleteGod knows we need a maternal love as well, which is why on the cross He gave us his own mother, the Blessed Mother... "Woman behold your son..." (and then to John, the beloved disciple) "...son, behold your mother." (John 19:25-26)... "And from that time, the disciple took her into his home." (19:27) ... The Blessed Mother is then given to us as "our mother" if we become adopted "sons of God" along with our Lord Jesus Christ, and she makes intercessions for us before the Father, because she loves us as she loved her son, if we abide in Him and He in us.
So God expresses His love in many ways, and often through whoever He may designate. That's at least my take on the question.
I completely agree with you Anonymous. The kind of vilification for people who simply "are" pedophiles, and especially when they haven't committed any crimes, is a tragedy as bad as child molestation itself. There's a difference between seeking justice for victims of abuse and simply vilifying a whole segment of society who suffer with this disorder and literally can't even seek treatment for it without being treated as a criminal (long before any criminal acts are even made).
ReplyDeleteAll of this is one of the reasons why I became Christian. You can't help but see the similar circumstances of the pedophile or the "Childlover" in the modern world and the prostitute that Christ had mercy on. Everyone else would've stoned her, but He forgave her, because they had forgotten that "stoning someone" was NEVER meant to be the first resort, but was always meant to provoke us to seek reconciliation at all costs. Stoning a person was meant to sound so horrible and uncivilized that we would seek reconciliation before ever resorting to it.... but mankind likes to stone people.
Pedophiles often face this same stoning spiritually and physically, whether they commit wrongs or not, and often live lives in solitude and despair, and also deception (because they have to hide that part of themselves). One can't help but see the TRUE "Christian life" in their sufferings, which can be intense.
It's amazing that the Church and that Christ wouldn't turn a single one of them away if they came on hands and knees calling out "Lord, have mercy on me!" Unlike the world, Christ would reach out His hand and say (like He did to Zacheaus), "Zaccheus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house" (Luke 19:1-10). And all the people would "grumble" and say, just as they did, "He has gone to be the guest of a man who is a sinner!”
Christ would also forgive the man and tell him to "go and sin no more," and the power of that fellowship and forgiveness that the world was so unable to give would cause that man to do just that. God would be that man's "portion and cup" (Psalm 16:5), whether the world liked it or not. He would have fellowship with the other children of God in the Body of Christ and would no longer be so "alone" and "misunderstood." He would be blessed beyond reckoning, and certainly beyond those who threw the stones in ignorance or malice.
This all why I find it crucial to have this outreach. I'll try to do more posts about this particular topic in the future!
Thank you for stopping by. God bless you.